Monday, April 13, 2009

Random things I've heard about being jail

I've always admired how nice the jail looks here in Lexington and have always said if I ever have to go to jail, I want it to be here. After learning a few things about what it's like being in jail through my volunteer work with the police thanks! Here are a few random things I've heard:

- You have to buy your own toilet paper. That really sucks if you run out or no one wants to put money on your commissary account.
- You don't get pillows. You have to get creative and make your own. I'd be screwed. I can't sleep without my tempurpedic pillow.
- Calendars are considered contraband. What on gods green earth could someone do with a calendar? You're allowed writing utensils which could be used to stab someone but not a calendar??
- You can make liquor out of 3 or more oranges. (Fine by me! I like the fruity alcoholic drinks anyways)
- You can order food, clothes (jail clothes), etc. from the commissary however, more than a certain amount is considered contraband. I haven't figured out why this is yet. I just can't imagine how 6 slices of bread could become a weapon. If you were a chemist and wanted to grow mold for penicillin so you could poison a guard or another inmate then I could understand that rule but many chemists go to jail??
- You can order food from local restaurants! Yup! They have hot and cold carts that they can order from and some of it is food from select restaurants in town. So much for trying to punish those that break the law.
- The whole one 5 minute phone call per day? Ya..that's a myth to scare all of us chatterboxes from staying out of trouble. You can pretty much make as many calls as you want for a max of 20 minutes each. At least you can here in KY anyways. The murderers only get to call during their 2 hour rec time but two hours of being able to make calls is better than one phone call a day.
- You actually have to pay for a haircut! I automatically assumed you didn't get one and if you did they were free. Nope, they have someone that comes in and does hair cuts. I wonder if they do hilights or can color your hair for you?

That's just a few of the things I've learned so far. A few things like being able to order a wide variety of junk food, extra clothes, etc. and being able to talk on the phone as much as you want really isn't all that bad. Other things like not even being able to have a calendar so you know what day it is or having to buy your own toilet paper...ya..not so much. I know for sure that if I ever went to jail I would be toiletpaperless. I just don't see my parents sending me toilet paper allowance especially if I'm the one that got myself in to that situation. I'm pretty sure my mom would send me an overwhelming amount of coupons and recipes with a sticky note saying "to use when you get out" but that's about it. It'd be my luck that coupons and recipe clippings would be considered contraband!

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